+JMJ
Since the new Motu Proprio, Traditionis Custodes, released by Pope Francis is making the Latin Mass the hot topic of the week, I figured I would write this post. It has actually been on my list of posts to write for awhile, but I did not really feel called to share it until now. This post is not to break down the Motu Proprio (there are much more educated people than myself doing that), but to simply share my experience in being drawn to the Traditional Latin Mass, traditional catholic teachings, and the traditional community in general. I want to share what I have learned and discovered concerning it.
Before I get started I want to make a couple things clear:
1. I believe the Novus Ordo is a valid Mass. I believe that transubstantiation occurs there.
2. I am not a sedevacantist. I do not believe the seat of Peter is vacant.
3. Keep in mind that this is MY road to the Traditional Latin Mass. The Lord leads everyone to Him differently. This blog was written to “share inspiration, information, personal experiences, and a great deal of prayer to help women encounter Jesus in their own lives!” That is what this post is for, to show how the Lord led me, in the hopes that you will be able to recognize His leadings in your own life to the truth.
As I reflect over my life, I can see how the Lord has been preparing and drawing me to the Traditional Latin Mass from when I was a teenager. Giving me small steps forward towards Him in reverence and love.
Taking Latin in High School
While most of my other classmates were talking Spanish or French, I chose Latin. Why would I take Latin you ask? I mean it is a dead language. My reasoning at the time was that it was supposed to help me with my SAT scores. Whether it really did or not, I can’t tell you.
The Lord knows me. He knows me better than I do. He knew that I would have an easier time committing to following Him to the Latin Mass with a background in Latin. In a very basic knowledge of the language and pronunciation. Giving me the ability to follow along reasonably well, and not feel discouraged.
I know now after attending the Latin Mass that it really wasn’t necessary, but a gift from Him. I don’t want anyone to think that you have to know any amount of Latin to attend the Latin Mass, because you don’t. There are clues that indicate where we are in the Mass, and since much of the Low Mass is silent, knowing what the Priest is praying at the alter is mute anyway. And frankly, I read through the english version of the prayers during the silent parts of the Mass anyway.
Want to learn Latin? Try here.
These books are also available online for free: Book One Book Two
Dressing Up For Mass
As a child my Mother always made my sister and I wear a dress to Church. I hated it! I was the outdoorsy type, and much preferred jeans and a t-shirt. I will admit it made me resentful and bitter about going to Mass. I did not have a clear understanding at the time of why it was important.
When I got to collage, I took the attitude that it was more important to “be at Mass,” not how I looked. Being worried about how I looked was vanity, right? So jeans and a t-shirt became my normal attire for Mass.
As my relationship deepened with the Lord, I began to realize that He deserved better. I saw that what I wore on the outside is how I felt on the inside. So, the little effort I put into throwing on a t-shirt and jeans, was reflected in the little effort I put into my participation in the Mass. Not paying attention, not really understanding what the purpose of the Mass was, and only going out of obligation.
As I switched to wearing dress and skirts I noticed, over time, a difference interiorly. At first it was a sacrificial offering, because I hated wearing dresses. It was strange, however, because the more effort I put into my attire for Mass, the “smaller” my spirit became. It was as if, the more effort I put in for Him, the more I sacrificed what I wanted to wear for something that was more worthy of His greatness, the more my spirit turned and pointed to Him.
Belief in the True Presence
I would like to say that I always believed in the true presence of Our Lord in the Eucharist, but I cannot definitively say whether I did or didn’t. I, like many others, was the victim of poor catechesis.
I can tell you, however, when I did truly believe in the True Presence. Several years ago I had a laundry list of health problems. I printed a list of symptoms and highlighted over 50 of them that I was currently experiencing. One of those is a severe gluten intolerance. My body was almost completely covered with an itchy rash. The only thing that got rid of it was removing gluten from my diet.
I can remember riding in the car with my husband, on our way to Mass, when it hit me that the host was made from wheat. I burst into tears because I realized I would not be able to receive communion ever again. And I didn’t receive communion for about a year because of this.
When the poll came out stating that only a small percentage of Catholics actually believe in the true presence, it was a punch in the gut for me. If I believed it was truly Our Lord, transubstantiated in the host, then it would not hurt me. Right?
I remember when I received the Eucharist for the first time after that realization. My heart was pounding. I was terrified of the possible pain and itching that would inevitably come from consuming any amount of gluten. But I loved Him, and was willing to take the risk to see for sure.
I received the Eucharist….. and nothing happened. No burning, no rash, no itching, no tingling… just nothing. That was my answer and I never looked back. He is truly present in the Holy Eucharist and I am eternally grateful to Him for the gift of Himself in it.
Veiling
In 2017 the Holy Spirit started to draw my towards veiling. It would come up in my reading, in blog posts, YouTube videos, and my Facebook feed. I dismissed it for a long time. At that point I don’t think I had ever seen anyone wearing a veil at Mass. Ever.
But the Lord persisted in pushing me towards veiling. Increasing my love of the Eucharist, increasing me desire for reverence in the Mass, increasing my desire to show Him reverence myself. He even sent His Mother to urge me in the decision:
I was praying my rosary, when all of a sudden I was given the image of the Holy Mother kneeling with me. She gently took her veil, sheer and beautiful, and placed it so it covered my head and hers together. She pressed her forehead against mine and we prayed the rosary together.
So, I asked Him for a sign that He wanted me to start wearing a veil to Mass.
I was walking out of my Church one evening, and the sign outside where they post announcements, said, “If you are looking for a sign, here it is!” It stopped me in my tracks! Talk about a close line/wake up call! My Mother bought me my first veil that week and I was determined to wear it the following Sunday.
I was terrified to wear it though. There was not a single person in my parish, that I knew of, that veiled for Mass. I remember sitting in the car, debating if I should wear it inside. Even though I knew the Lord wanted me too. The devil sowed doubt and lies:
“Everyone is going to think you are weird.”
“Everyone is going to be looking at you.”
“What will people think?”
“You are just trying to look Holy.”
“You are going to make others feel bad.”
My heart was pounding as I debated whether to go into Mass at all by that point. So, I pulled my big girl panties on, clipped my veil on, and marched into the Church before the devil could talk me out of it. I didn’t make eye contact with anyone, and prayed I was invisible as I made my way to my usually seat. All I could think about was that everyone must be staring at me…
I stood along with everyone else as the opening song began, and it was “Be Not Afraid.” In that moment He strengthened and validated the decision to veil for Him. That He had been calling me to it, and that it pleased Him that I did.
Helpful Information concerning veiling can be found here and here.
Receiving The Eucharist on the Tongue
It took some time for me to start this one. The Holy Spirit started whispering it to me not long after I started veiling.
But it was scary…… I mean…. How do I do it exactly? What if I lick the priest? What if I do it wrong and drop the Eucharist?
But the Lord persisted.
One Sunday, I woke up way earlier that I normally would and decided to start my scripture meditation. During my colloquy at the end of my prayer time, He urged me to go to the 7:00am Mass at a church I don’t normally attend.
But I was up anyway, so I got ready and headed over there. The Priest was an older priest with a thick Polish accent. I felt the strong call to receive the Eucharist on the tongue from him. Of course all those doubts and fears sprang into my head. The devil trying to keep me from doing what the Lord was calling me to do.
So, I prayed on my way up to receive communion…. “Lord, if you want me to receive You on the tongue, show me.” As soon as the prayer left my heart the gentleman two spots in front of me received on the tongue. There was my sign.
It felt clumsy at first, but has gotten easier over time. I will say that is is easier to receive the Eucharist on the tongue while kneeling.
My First Latin Mass
I attended my first Traditional Latin Mass in February of 2021. So, at this point I am very new to the Traditional Latin Mass. Especially, since it is only offered once a month here. I found the facebook page for the Traditional Latin Mass for my area, and was happy to see that they offered a “buddy system.” They would pair you with an experienced TLM attender, to help you through it. This was such a blessing, because it was one of the reasons I kept putting off going.
I don’t know what to do….
Everyone is going to be staring at me because I don’t know what to do….
When do I sit and stand?
How will I know where we are in the Mass?
What are the responses?
I was paired with a wonderful woman, who was so kind, helpful, and knowledgeable. She made me feel genuinely welcomed and supported.
My first mass was a low mass. After experiencing a Missa Cantata (A Sung Mass), I would not suggest for most people’s first Latin Mass got be a low mass. I can see how many people would put off by the low mass. It is very quiet and difficult to keep track of where you are because much of the prayers from the priest are inaudible, creating almost a void in the air. I think this comes from just our culture indoctrinating us with the need to be entertained all the time, instead of being content in the silence. I think I faired well because I had a small background in Latin (again this is not necessary) and I tend to seek quiet and solitude in my daily life anyway.
For most of that first Traditional Mass, I didn’t really follow along. I just watched. I watched the movements of the Priest. I watched the movements of the alter servers. I watched those around me in the pews. Everything is ceremonial, respectful, ordered, and reverent. It was the first time that I truly felt the mystery and beauty of the Catholic Faith. At the elevation of the Holy Eucharist, I felt the deepest love, adoration, reverence, and unity with our Lord, and also with everyone else in the Church that day. All facing as one towards our goal and purpose. Or final end. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, fully present in the Holy Eucharist.
It was like nothing I had experienced in any other Mass before. I knew where I was supposed to be, and He had led me there.
Traditional Resources I have found helpful:
Traditional Divine Office Prayers
These training videos I found to be especially helpful in understanding the Traditional Latin Mass: Part One, Part Two, Part Three
Our Lord leads us gently. He gradually shows us His truth and love over the course of our lives. Drawing us ever closer to Him, as long as we are willing to listen for the promptings of His voice and respond with trust and love in return.
Thrive in Jesus, my Friends!
Have you been to the Traditional Latin Mass? What did you like or not like? What obstacles did you face and how did you handle them? How did the Lord draw you to it? How did He prepare you for it?
Leave me a comment and let me know!