+JMJ
I love the passage about the Good Shepherd. I think it is a favorite among many people. I find it so comforting and reassuring, which was a special blessing recently as I pray through some old wounds that need to be healed. Wounds I had buried, some I had forgotten about, and some I didn’t even realize were wounds until the Lord revealed them to me.
As the wounds heal, I am struggling with knowing who I am without them. I have let them define me way too long. I can see now through the filter of the Lord’s grace that they are not really me, but a distortion of myself. Wounds distorted by the devil to draw me away from the Loving Lord.
Our Lord will reveal in my contemplation, how very much He wants to heal, care, and love me.
The Good Shepherd
I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd giveth His life for His sheep. But the hireling, and he that is not the shepherd, whose own the sheep are not, seeth the wolf coming and leaveth the sheep, and flieth: and the wolf catcheth and scattereth the sheep: And the hireling flieth, because he is a hireling: and he hath no care of the sheep.
I am the good shepherd; and I know mine, and mine know Me. As the Father knoweth Me, and I knoweth the Father; and I lay down my life for my sheep.
-John 10:11-15
My Contemplation
I watch the herd of sheep all mingling around in a bright green meadow. The Shepherd sits up on a rock so He can oversee the entire flock. He is relaxed but vigilant.
Everything is bright and warm. A gentle breeze blows across the grass. Sheep eat and play. It is so wonderfully peaceful.
I see, however, a small sheep slowly wander towards the edge of the meadow. Drawn farther and farther away from the group. I watch as it is is drawn by seemingly better patches of grass and the sound of running water into the trees surrounding the meadow. It is lured further and further and the trees get darker and darker.
Then, I hear a growl among the trees. I can sense the fear well up inside that little sheep, and I know it does not know how to get back to the meadow. There is a howl and a wolf comes upon the sheep snarling, tearing its wool out, wounding it deeply. It cannot fight the wolf off, but cries in anguish. The wolf deserts the poor sheep there, ruined, maimed, and broken.
The Shepherd rushes to the tattered sheep and soothes it with the words, “I AM….” (Because that is His name.) “I AM… here.” I AM… with you.” He gently scoops up the lamb and carries it carefully back to the meadow.
As the Shepherd walks gently through the forest, the little lamb turns into me. I am limp in His arms, but all the wounds are not very painful. They hurt, but are dulled by Him. I relax into the gentle sway of His walk, and am covered in the tranquil quietude of His presence.
Forest of Wounds
The Lord has been leading me gently through the forest of my wounds. I know that is where the devil wants me to live. He wants to continuously tear at me, maim me, and draw me further away from the meadow. That is from my Lord. He wants to break me and torment me. Remind me of all my hurts and berate me for them. He distorts all things to make them worse than they are, and leave me feeling destitute, depressed, and alone.
But the Lord does not want me there. He wants to mend those wounds. He wants to heal them. He wants to comfort me and draw me away from them, into Him. I can feel He pursues me in order to be ready to heal them. Always. What a loving gift!
I AM
As I focus on Him, and His words in my contemplation I am reminded of the passage from the Old Testament.
“Moses said to God: Lo, I shall go to the children of Israel, and say to them: The God of your fathers hath sent me to you. If they should say to me: What is His name? What shall I say to them?
God said to Moses: I AM WHO AM. He said: Thus shalt thou say to the children of Israel: HE WHO IS, hath sent me to you.”
-Exodus 3:13-14
I AM… what? And What for me exactly? Are the questions that pop into my head. So, I ask Him. And He floods me with a list of responses:
I AM… your Creator.
I Am… your Healer.
I AM… your Savior.
I AM… your Shepherd.
I AM… your Guide.
I AM… your Provider.
I AM… your Comforter.
I AM.. your Satisfier.
I AM… your Light.
I AM… your Love.
I AM… your Courage.
I AM… your Mercy.
I AM… your Compassion.
Then, I wonder what this makes me? And He leads me from passage to passage, revealing the truth of His words to me.
I am… His Lamb.
“My sheep hear may voice: and I know them, and they follow me. And I give them life everlasting; and they shall not perish forever, and no man shall pluck them out of my hand.”
-John 10:27-28
I am called to trust Him explicitly, as a sheep would follow the shepherd, I must follow the Lord. Heeding His voice as He beckons and calls to me according to His will.
I am… His Creation.
“The Spirit of God made me, and the breath of the Almighty gave me life.” -Job 33:4
A quote from St. Ignatius of Loyola always comes to mind when I think of being created by our Lord. It is:
“God created me and in creating me preferred me to an infinite number of creatures who were equally possible to Him and who will forever remain in nothingness. O God, how have I deserved this preference!”
He could have made anything, and He chose to create me! He chose to think of me. He desired my existence. He desires my whole self completely. There is so much consolation in this realization. That I never have been, and never will be unwanted.
I am… His Patient.
“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and never forget all He hath done for thee. Who forgiveth all thy iniquities: who healeth all they diseases.” – Psalm 102:2-3
I have been sick… really sick. Sick enough to beg the Lord to take me or to heal me. He chose to heal me. I can see that I may not be as physically sick as I was, but have a great deal of spiritual sickness that needs to be healed. A sickness in the soul caused by sin that will be treated by the Divine Healer.
I am… His Redeemed.
“Who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from all iniquity, and might cleanse to Himself a people acceptable, a pursuer of good works.” -Titus 2:14
He has provided me with the means to recover from sin through His death on the cross. His death has allowed me the opportunity to join Him in living out eternity in heaven. This provides a peacefulness in my soul that could only occur because of the greatest gift given by our Lord, Jesus. I know that even though I will fail, am failing, there is encouragement to keep trying every day because of His sacrificial love.
I am… His Follower.
“Be ye followers of me, as I also am of Christ.” -1 Corinthians 11:1
In following Christ, I have found a great deal of peace, let go of so much hurt, and have a much better understanding of my life as a whole. Following Him provides clarity, direction, and purpose.
I am… His Temple.
“Know you not, that you are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?” – 1 Corinthians 3:16
I am made in His Image and need to act accordingly. My family laughs because I go into “Super-Cleaning” mode whenever we have people coming over to the house. I mean… we can’t have anyone see our messy house, and how we actually live…..
This same concept I really should apply to my soul more often. Keep it clean, organized, and a place I would be happy to invite Our Lord into.
I am… His Dependent.
“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abide in the vine, so neither can you, unless you abide in me.” -John 15:4
I am one of those people who worries about things. Worries about getting the bills paid. Worries about having enough food. Worries about having what we need around the house. Worries about what’s for dinner…. and the list goes on.
But as I think back over my whole life, I can honestly say there has never been a time where I was truly wanting for anything. The Lord has blessed me abundantly. We always seemed to have enough of the absolute necessities. That was the Lord at work because He is so good and provides much more than I deserve.
I am…. His Helper.
“Whatsoever you do, do it from the heart, as to the Lord, and not to men: Knowing that you shall receive of the Lord the reward of inheritance. Serve ye the Lord Christ.” – Colossians 3:23-24
The Lord created me out of love for a purpose here. That purpose may not always be completely clear, but I still need to do what I can to help spread His kingdom to those around me. It does not have to be big grand things, but little things. A smile. A joyful spirit. A prayer for a stranger. I see it as lending a hand when I can.
I am… His Servant.
“You are my witnesses , saith the Lord, and my servant whom I have chosen: that you may know and believe me and understand that I myself AM. Before me there was no God formed, and after their shall be none.” -Isaias 43:10
This kind of goes along with “Helper,” but is a little different I think. A servant I see as being humble and obedient to the will of God. That means even when it is something I don’t want to do I will answer immediately the call (order/commands) of the Master, our Lord, without hesitation.
I am…. HIS….
“And now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and formed thee, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed thee, and called thee by thy name: thou art mine.”
-Isaias 43:1
In being His, I am completely known. I am forgiven compassionately. I am strengthen in courage. I am enlightened in wisdom. But the thing that stands out the most is that I am Loved completely, Loved abundantly, and Loved perfectly. This is what everyone longs for, deep down, right? It is this love that makes each day a blessing.
I just love when the Lord speaks to me through scripture. It just feels like all the pieces fall into place and I receive this distinct clarity. I can see over and over again His infinite wisdom, but He does not reveal anything in a condescending way. He never makes me feel inadequate for not seeing it before or not putting the pieces together myself. He instead gently guides me to the answers in the gentle sway of His presence.
Thrive in Jesus, my Friends!
Who is the Lord to you? Who are you in Him? What are some of the scripture passages that speak to you the most?
New to contemplative prayer? Check out my post here to find out more!